Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Honey, Let's Get Married: Part Two

So, menyambung pembicaraan kemarin soal teman gue yang getting married, got hitched, tied-the-knot, whatever people called it. Di umur gue yang sudah kepala dua ini, pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu sudah mulai bermunculan dari berbagai macam pihak. Mulai ada pressure dari orang-orang di sekitar gue, asking about my man-hood? Or maybe my sexuality?

Ok, mungkin agak berlebihan, sebenarnya bukan pertanyaan soal kapan gue akan menikah, the real question is "Do you have a girlfriend now?", "Udah punya cewe belom lo?", dan atau "Mana nih pasangannya, kok sendirian aja?". Pertanyaan-pertanyaan ini bikin gerah juga ya...(apalagi waktu terima undangan dari si HF, "Mr. E and partner", PANAAAASSS....)

Errmm....tough question guys, a really-really-really-though question to be frankly. Gue agak sedikit kesulitan untuk menjawabnya. Hehehehe....

Sebenarnya gue punya jawaban yang tepat untuk itu, "I prefer to be single and enjoying my singlehood.", itu jawaban yang sebenarnya. dan satu jawaban yang paling jujur adalah, "I can't afford to have a girlfriend, I mean, have you seen me?" For some girls (maybe), I'm a big turn-off, not tough enough, not man-enough, looked to girly to be their boyfriend, not rich enough, I think I'm not good enough for them.

Ok, I had issues about my self-confidence and relationship issues, and that's a big problem.
Kesannya klise banget, tapi itu datang dari hati gue yg paling dalam. I choose to be single and enjoying singlehood to the last. Buat gue, having friends are a lot easier than having a single-relationship-commitment. (issues alert...)

Ada saat-saat dimana gue merasa iri dengan orang yang "lagi-pacaran" atau yang berstatus "in-a-relationship" di web-web jejaring sosial, kesannya, "The world belong to us, who cares about others" dan "We're declaring that we're together and we're happy about it", tapi kalau mereka sedang not-in-a-good-terms, lagi berantem,lagi sebel-sebelan, mereka kembali "The world (still) belong to us, who cares about others" dan "We're declaring that we're together and we're having a rough time or we're fighting", tapi itulah up-and-down-nya orang-orang yang in-a-relationship. So, it means that I'm jealous and obviously bitter, God, I'm gonna end up alone...

But, sometimes, when I was seeing a movie with some romance in it, itu juga membuat bisa jealous, kesannya, sial banget, mereka bisa saling "memadu kasih" sedangkan gue, single-alone-bitter-and-desperate. Blaaahhh!!!

Jadi sebenarnya mau gue itu apa sih? I honestly don't know what I want, I honestly don't know, and obviously I'm freaking out!!!!
Daripada stress sendiri, lebih baik gue serahkan saja sama yang diatas, kalau benar kata orang itu setiap orang punya pasangan di dunia, tidak ada yang diciptakan sendirian, that special person akan datang dengan sendirinya, I'm hoping and crossing my fingers...

So, obviously Mr. E wants that special person to be spent a lifetime with, and have to start searching, anyone can help me out?


xoxo,
E.

3 comments:

Tweezzaa said...

Son....
sabar lah
percaya diri
kl merasa ada kekurangan perbaiki
kelebihan dipertahankan

being in a relationship itu sebenernya cuma nambah 1 masalah idup n bigger expenses !

svya said...

ok, what if I say... "Let's get married, E me darling!"
will that be enough to make u sick? wahahahaa...

miss Initial D said...

are you kidding me? single life is friggin AWESOME baby!! trust me on this one ;)